The Wonder of You

What mercurial, fleeting, clumsy and beautiful glances and smiles evoked with these humble, soft-spoken words. It is a gaze of wonder and puzzlement, fascination but most of all innocence. No guilt, although expected, is found in these moments shared. It is a marvelous and profound experience. Such beauty enthralls with a shy nervousness and sudden awkwardness of prolonged eyes meeting.

Irresistible, unattainable, unimaginable without sorrow. I feel only wonder.

Random words are merely a distraction. Our gazes meet and our faces communicate on some cosmic level. Stars explode in her eyes and a thousand suns live in those cheeks. If her smile were a door to be opened, I would remove its hinges. It would be as I have become–unhinged at the seams of my heart.

My chest floats towards you and my head swims away, trying to capture everything in these moments, to remember the wonder…the wonder of you. They echo within long after, ripples of their former selves, always dragging the weight of some dark, nebulous cloud behind. It waits there, the nothingness and bleakness of consequence with a dreaded, pale stare. It’s a familiar, lonely storm. Its calm taunts and tears at the hopes of possibilities and “maybe someday”s.

It steals your wonder and hides it away in the darkness.

I am left in want. Left in emptiness. There is a universe of love in me yearning to be spent. Billions of galaxies collide in my soul. Your wonder is a supernova, burning straight through. Don’t hide your light, shine bright! You shine the brightest in everything known. Your wonder, your light, will light anew the stars behind my eyes.

Perhaps you can see this too? The wonder in my eyes as I look at you as you look at me?

Don’t go. Don’t let it go. I would light forever the stars behind your eyes and die to brighten the suns within your cheeks.

With just these words, if only to confess, “you’re wondrous”.

Sonnet 1

I miss thy smell on my pillow and bed.
I know lost days and smiles that thou miss not.
I ask why not thy sight flees mine head.
Strange how thy lips now kiss as mine were rot.

Not shame nor wrong hath I for thee to love.
Thou push and pull and tear mine world apart!
I gave thee love, why then hadst thy to shove?
What more for thee to ever grant thy heart?

Where art thou love, why doth thy fear me so?
Calm thy tempest, mine thief of poverty.
I shall not laugh nor smile for tears to grow,
Where once thy cheek were all mine sovereignty.

Until the end I swore to wait for thee.
All I ask were again thou would love me.